


Icecold and Redhot

by angrysmileyface



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-08-16 09:24:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8096710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrysmileyface/pseuds/angrysmileyface
Summary: Loki is stranded on earth and is thrown into the kindness of Ruby, who has a troubled past herself. Until now, she's done everything to avoid getting tangled up in 'strange' business, but our favourite god of mischief is bound to attract the attention of the wrong people.





	1. An Olive Branch

A melodic tinkling noise of water on metal came from the dark fireplace. It was raining outside. A soft rumbling in the distance told Ruby it wasn’t just going to rain tonight. She sighed as she folded her laundry. A mundane task, but she usually liked it. It didn’t occupy her mind, left it open for contemplating other things. It just so happened that today was one of those days that her mind turned to thoughts she’d rather avoid. She let out another annoyed sigh and looked around her small house. It wasn’t much, but then again, she didn’t need much. Just some peace of mind. At least, that is what she told herself, but really, she was lonely. And bored. Mostly bored. It wasn’t natural for a n eighteen-year-old to live alone in a tiny house somewhere in a forest. But, she reminded herself for the hundredth time, she wasn’t a natural eighteen-year-old. She abruptly stood up. Enough, she thought to herself. It was the same argument she’d had with herself over and over again. “Enough is enough,” she said to herself out loud as she took her coat and put on her rubber boots. “Time to cool off. Literally.”

The smell of wet, rotting leaves penetrated his nostrils. That was the first thing he noticed. The second, was the stinging sensation in his side when he tried to move. He then noticed he was lying face down in dead leaves. Hence the smell, he thought. He tried to get up, but immediately forfeit as the pain in his side grew worse. Carefully now, he tried to roll over. After a few moments of pain and effort, he was lying on his back, staring to the sky and… Trees? He was in a forest. That didn’t tell him much; every realm had forests. It was raining, he realized now, as ice cold drops fell on his face. Great, he thought. Here I am, lying alone in some forest in some realm, and I can’t even get up. The Allfather couldn’t have come up with a better punishment.  
He lifted his hand and tried to wipe the dirt from his face as best as he could. Then he gingerly felt his side. It seemed that a branch had penetrated the thin green shirt he was wearing, not to mention his skin. A branch. He’d laughed if his situation hadn’t been so desperate. He’d come to Midgard a year ago to conquer it, and now he was laying here, presumably on Midgard (he’d noticed a flying vehicle in the sky), felled by a branch. A sharp branch, no doubt, very unlucky poised as he’d fallen on it, but still, a branch. He gritted his teeth and dug his fingers into the wound. “AAhh!” he exclaimed as he pulled out the branch in one yank. He closed his eyes and let the pain fade away. When he opened them, he was staring into blue eyes. He blinked. The blue eyes were part of a young, innocent face, surrounded by flames.  
“Ah good, you’re not dead,” the mouth said dryly. He blinked again, slowly regaining his wits. A young girl was looking down at him. She had fiery red hair and blue eyes.  
“Are you all right, sir?” she asked. She seemed genuinely concerned.  
“Do I look like I am all right?” he snapped back.  
“Well, if you don’t require any assistance...” she answered coldly, and she started to turn away.  
“No…” he said weakly. His consciousness was fading. Must be losing more blood than he thought. Must be...

Great, Ruby thought. The Random Man in the woods has passed out. Just what I needed. Some guy passed out in MY woods. God dammit. She sighed and looked at the wound in his side. He was losing blood fast. That could be helped. She gently placed her hand on the wound and concentrated. After a few minutes the bleeding stopped. His face was still frighteningly pale. That’s the last thing she needed: a body to take care of. So, reluctantly, she lifted the man up and carried him to her little house. Thank god she hadn’t walked far; the man was huge, at least 6 feet tall, and though slender, not exactly thin. She dragged him the last part, from her front door all the way to her couch. His pants and shirt were drenched. She sighed. She really, really didn’t want to have to do this, but she felt even less for getting rid of the body if he died of hypothermia. So she gritted her teeth and took off his shirt and pants, leaving his underwear. There are worse people to undress, she thought as she bound his wound. Definitely, much worse people. His torso was an almost perfect triangle, with a pale, smooth skin covering his perfect muscles. She scolded herself for being a pervert and quickly tucked the dark-haired man in under all the blankets she could find. Then she made a fire in the small fireplace and hung his clothes on a chair to dry. Time to make soup, she thought, and she walked into the kitchen. 

He was burning hot. They had thrown him in a burning pit. Odin, Frigg, Thor, Heimdall… All of them were standing around it, looking at him in disgust or amusement. He couldn’t breathe. “Mother,” he panted, “Mother, please…”  
But she shook her head and said: “I am not your mother; you said it yourself.”  
“Please… Anything but this…” he pleaded as his skin started to melt.  
“Come on, my soup isn’t that bad,” a mocking voice said. He looked around, but he couldn’t find the source.  
“What?” he called.  
“Wake up, dude, I’ve got soup,” the voice called jestingly. He felt his reality destabilize, and suddenly he was awake on a couch, looking at the woman he’d seen in the forest, holding a bowl of soup. He was still bathing in sweat, partly because of the nightmare, but partly because he had a pile of blankets on top of him. He threw them off of him in irritation, only to realize he was almost completely naked, save the black boxers he was wearing. He directed a furious glare to the redhead, who’d carefully placed the bowl of soup out of his reach.  
“You dare undress me?” he asked, too enraged to raise his voice.  
“You know, for someone who owes me his life, you sure seem awfully ungrateful,” she said dryly, unmoved by his words or look. “Trust me, I didn’t do it for my own pleasure. If I had, I’d at least wanted to know your name first.”  
He stared at her in disbelief. A smile was tugging at the corner of her lips.  
“I had to remove your clothes; they were drenched. You would’ve died of hypothermia if I hadn’t.”  
“I didn’t ask for your help,” he said angrily. “You didn’t have to help me.”  
“Yes, well, call it my sense of moral responsibility. Look, let’s start again,” she said finally. “My name’s Ruby, Ruby Daniels. And your name is…?”  
“Loki,” he answered. “Loki of Asgard.”  
Ruby nodded. If she recognized his name, she hid it well. Strange, Loki thought. He’d thought that by now, all Midgardians would’ve known his name, after what happened in New York. Of course, he didn’t know how news was spread in Midgard. Perhaps not everyone could communicate as quickly as SHIELD and the Avengers had done when he was here. The Avengers. The word alone brought back many unwelcome memories. He scowled.  
“Want soup?” Ruby asked, handing him the bowl. He nodded and took the bowl from her. He needed to think before he could start answering questions. Eating would be a good excuse for silence. 

So, now she had a strange man named Loki in her house, from a place called Asgard. She’d never heard of the place. But then again, how much could she know of a world she hadn’t been in of nearly a year? Not much, though she had seen more places than most at her age. She’s lived in Belgium for 8 years, and in New York 8 years. After that… She didn’t want to think about that. To distract her thoughts, she studied her visitor. He seemed to be concentrating on the soup. He ate slowly, his brow furrowed. Collecting his thoughts. She didn’t know his last name, she realized.  
“You didn’t give me a last name,” she said promptly.  
Loki looked up, disturbed. “What?” he asked, slightly annoyed.  
“Your last name. You didn’t tell me what it was,” Ruby repeated.  
“Indeed, I did not.”  
Ruby clenched her jaw in frustration. Fine. She didn’t need to know. He’d be out of her hair soon enough. She just had to keep herself from losing her temper.  
“Happy thoughts, happy thoughts,” she murmured to herself as she rose to get back to her laundry. Loki followed her with his eyes. A strange girl, she was. Very young to be alone, even to Midgardian standards, he believed. She wasn’t as curious as he would have expected. He’d expected that she would ask an avalanche of questions, but instead it had just been the one, and had been easily diverted. It seemed she was just about as interested in him as he’d been in her, which made him wonder what it was exactly that she had to hide. People who don’t want questions asked usually don’t ask them themselves. But, then again, what interesting secret could a mere mortal hold? No, his main focus should be getting back to Asgard and making Odin reverse this stupid punishment of his. To live as a mortal! The thought alone was unacceptable. Besides, if SHIELD or the Avengers got wind of this… He had no doubt whatsoever that they wouldn’t let him live as a free mortal, perhaps not even live at all. The Allfather was counting on that, no doubt. That thought made him even more angry. He gulped the last of the soup down and stood up. He winced and pressed his hand on the bandages on his side. Then he took his pants from the chair in front of the fire and put them on. He picked up the bowl from the table and walked into the kitchen. The red-haired mortal was there, folding laundry at the dinner table.  
“The soup was… fine,” Loki said awkwardly.  
“Oh wow,” she answered sarcastically, without looking up, “thank you. Such praise, I can barely handle it.”  
Loki glared at her. So much for starting over, she thought. But she simply couldn’t help it. His arrogance was too much. He was like a real life Mr. Darcy, but worse, since she couldn’t help but feel that she was a better judge of character than Elizabeth Bennet. She sighed.  
“So… there’s a bus stop a few miles from here; only a half an hour walk. You can take a bus to the town there, and from there, well…” she said hesitatingly, looking up at him.  
He sat down and gave a slight nod.  
“I mean, you don’t have to go right now, not before the wound is healed and the storm has passed, but I-”  
“Storm?” Loki interrupted her, looking outside. He’d been caught up in his thoughts so much he hadn’t heard the wind howling.  
“Yes, storm,” Ruby said, lifting an eyebrow. “It might take a while to clear up, and you don’t want to try to make your way to the village in this weather. The mud has surprised many careless drivers around here.”  
Loki sighed. No hope of a quick escape then. Even if he managed to steal a vehicle (preferably the redhead’s, since she was so tiresome), he wouldn’t be able to leave the house until it stopped raining and blowing. Fine, he thought. I need to heal anyway. Let the little redhead take care of me.

Ruby descended into the small basement under her house. She really hadn’t planned on company. Now she’d have to get groceries before the month was over and she was already struggling as it was. She could barely get enough money together with the paintings she sold and the little electrician jobs she got around town. Her one constellation being that she enjoyed painting more than anything. Though of course she couldn’t really paint what she wanted if she wanted to sell them. Her own paintings were too ‘modern’. No, she was better off painting landscapes and other boring things. Oh well, she thought, at least now I have an excuse to cook something nice.  
And with that thought she set out to cook some risotto for them, her favorite meal. The man, Loki, was still standing in the kitchen when she came back with her supplies. He was staring out the window thoughtfully, without really seeing anything, it seemed.  
“You like risotto?” she asked.  
“What?” he said, as if it was an impertinence she asked him a question.  
“Do you like risotto?” she repeated slowly.  
“I would not know, I’ve never had it. But anything will do for sustenance.”  
“…Right. And does Mr. Shakespeare like cheese with his risotto?”  
“I do not know, ask Mr. Shakespeare.”  
“Fine!” Ruby said irritably, “Grate your own cheese then.”  
She took an onion and proceeded to cut it in small pieces.  
“I swear to God,” she grumbled to herself as she cut the union with exceeding violence and dedication, “Next time I see a stranger bleeding out in the woods, I’ll leave them there.”

Loki smiled quietly to himself for this small victory and walked out of the kitchen to explore the small cottage. There was a cozy living room with a roaring fire in the fire place, which he’d laid in front of. On his left was a door that led to a little bedroom where the girl slept, and an adjoining bathroom. After exploring these thoroughly, as much as these small rooms could be explored, he entered the room to the right of the kitchen door. It had a sharp smell about it, the smell of turpentine. The first thing he saw was a large easel with a painting on it of an unremarkable landscape, half-finished. Loki looked around the room, intrigued. He studied the painting. She paints well, he thought. Sure enough, all the trees and clouds were very lifelike. But also very boring. Against the walls of the room there were countless of other paintings just like it, all a little different, all of them equally mundane. Then he noticed another door. He walked over and opened it. It was a closet, and in it were a few dozen paintings. He picked one up and looked at it. There was a man depicted on it, with dark, black eyes and a stare that made him shiver. Blood was dripping from the man’s fingers, of which one was pointing directly at Loki, as if to accuse him of something. His mouth was opened in a silent yell, and at his feet lay another man, his head bleeding, his eyes staring emptily up at his murderer.  
“What are you doing?” a cold voice said from behind.  
Loki almost dropped the painting. “I was just-”  
“-putting your nose where it doesn’t belong,” Ruby finished coldly.  
“I don’t think I can emphasize this enough: don’t ever come in here without my permission again. You got that?”  
Loki puffed up at the thought of having to follow orders from her. “I don’t think I-”  
“Ever,” she said, her eyes full of cold hate. She slowly lifted up the knife she’d been using to cut the union. Loki quickly backed away and lifted his hands.  
“I apologize, I didn’t mean to… Look, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough…” he stammered, still backing away. Ruby looked at him in surprise, and then at her hand even more surprised, as though she hadn’t noticed her lifting it. She quickly lowered the knife and steadied her breathing while closing the closet with the paintings.  
“C’mon, dinner is served. Still had some risotto left in the freezer,” she said, and she spun around and quickly walked to the kitchen. Loki followed her somewhat hesitantly. 

Ruby stared at her plate. She wasn’t particularly hungry anymore. It had been some time since she’d seen that painting. It wasn’t the painting that had made her lose her appetite. She’d worked on it for months after all. But she didn’t like other people looking at it. She didn’t like him looking at it. He had no right. She looked at him carefully from across the table. He was quietly eating his meal, again lost in his thoughts. She shouldn’t have taken him in, she now realized. A man bleeding out in the woods couldn’t mean anything but trouble. And trouble was the one thing she’d been trying to avoid. The one thing that made this exile bearable was that she’d succeeded so far in avoiding it. He needed to leave, as fast as possible.  
“The storm will clear up tomorrow, I think. Then you can be on your way.”  
“Yes,” he said, and I will not leave any witnesses behind, he added in thought.


	2. Guns and Getaways

Loki awoke about an hour before midnight from another nightmare. This one had been about Heimdal chasing him with his spear down the Bifrost, and Loki kept running knowing that even if he’d reach the end, he couldn’t use the Bifrost without Heimdal’s spear. Now, he was sitting up on the couch, trying to calm his breathing. As his heartbeat slowly stopped drowning out all other sounds, he heard a moaning and whining coming from the bedroom. He slowly got up to take a look. He quietly opened the door and saw the redhead tangled up in her bedsheets, writhing around in a nightmare of her own. He hesitated in the doorway. He hadn’t forgotten what happened the last time he intruded on her privacy. But, he argued, he couldn’t go to sleep with her moaning and twisting in the other room, so he walked over to the bed and said: “Wake up.”  
It didn’t have the desired effect. Of anything, her writhing became worse, and she said softly: “Marcus… please…”  
He laid his hand on her shoulder and shook her, saying “Wake up, Rub-”  
But before he could finish, Ruby had twisted around and grabbed his arm. He was now half-standing, half-lying face forward on the bed with his arm twisted behind his back and a knife to his throat, which she’d apparently been hiding under her pillow. As soon as she saw it was him, she let go. Loki got up and tried to regain his posture while Ruby calmed herself down.  
“You shouldn’t do that,” Ruby said plainly.  
“I’ve noticed,” Loki answered dryly.  
“What were you doing here? Was there something you needed?”  
“You were… rather loud.”  
“Ah,” Ruby said, raising an eyebrow, “I’ll try to have quieter nightmares then.”  
She looked at him questioningly. “Why were you awake anyway?”  
“The wind,” Loki said simply. The wind was still howling around the house, as though it was determined to rip it from its roots and carry it away.  
“I see. Well… Good night then.”  
“Right,” he said and he left the room. He laid down on the couch again and tried to get comfortable. He listened to the wind, making the small house groan and squeak with every blow. Suddenly there were two golden, glowing eyes above him and a hand at his throat. He groped at the hand and tried to pry it off, but it was like a steel clasp. He was lifted from the couch, and only now he realized how small his attacker was. His feet were still touching the ground slightly.  
“Who _are_ you?” a voice asked angrily.  
“Ruby?” Loki asked in return, recognizing the voice, “What are you doing?”  
“You led them here. They’re here.”  
“What do you…” Loki started, but then he heard the sound of a helicopter nearing them.  
“SHIELD,” he concluded.  
“Yeah, SHIELD,” Ruby said impatiently. “God, why did I _ever_ let you in?”  
She finally let him go, and her eyes slowly stopped glowing.  
“So, what did you do?”  
“New York.”  
“Wait, that was you?”  
Loki nodded.  
“Oh great. I couldn’t just get any criminal, no, it had to be the alien version of Osama Bin Laden. Just _great_.”  
While she ranted, Loki tried to look around for a weapon as inconspicuously as possible. He was at a disadvantage. The girl could decide to turn him over to SHIELD and there would be nothing he could do about it. She was strong, stronger than a mortal ought to be, and more perceptive, it seemed. He could try to take the knife she was still holding in her hand, though it was risky. But he couldn’t see any other option. He quickly grabbed for it while trying to get hold of the little redhead. She, however, seemed to have read his mind, and slipped between his fingers like water. Before he could think “This was a bad idea,” she had already twisted around him and put her knife to his throat, holding his head back with her other hand.  
“Bad move, Loki,” she said, slightly amused. “You know, the way I see it, you’re the one who got me into this mess, so you’re the one who’s going to get me out of it, whether you like it or not.”  
Loki grunted and squirmed uncomfortably in her grip.  
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Do we have a deal?” she asked, giving the knife slightly more pressure.  
“Yes,” Loki said reluctantly.  
“Great!” Ruby said cheerfully and she released him. “So, what’s the plan?”  
Before Loki could answer, there was a knock at the door. Ruby cursed.  
“See, that’s what you get for attacking me, otherwise I would have noticed that,” she whispered angrily. “We need to go.”  
“How? They’re standing at the front door and most likely have the place surrounded.”  
“Don’t you have like, special alien powers?”  
“Before I was banished, the Allfather took them from me.”  
“Let’s see what we can do about that.”  
Ruby moved closer to him and seemed to examine him closely with more than just her eyes, her hand hovering a few inches in front of his chest, slowly moving around. Her hand suddenly stopped in front of his heart. She seemed to have found what she was looking for and said: “This might hurt a bit.”  
Before he could ask what she meant, her eyes closed and her brow furrowed and Loki felt a sharp pain around his heart, as though someone was brutally pulling the stitches out of a wound he had there. He gasped in pain and fell to his knees.  
“What did you do to me?” he panted.  
“I gave you your powers back,” she answered simply, as though it was obvious.  
“You know magic?” Loki asked incredulously.  
“No. But all magic is a form of energy. And energy is my forte,” she answered. “C’mon, we need to go. Can you hide us?”  
“Yes,” Loki said, having recovered from the shock, “I can.”  
There came another, more urgent knock from the door.  
“Let’s go. Through the backdoor,” Ruby said, leading the way. 

Ruby softly opened the door, putting a finger to her lips. Loki made a gesture with his hands, concealing them from prying eyes. They stealthily slipped out into the night. Thank god for the wind, Ruby thought. Otherwise they’d surely heard us. There were two agents stationed at the backside. Just as Loki and Ruby wanted to slip past them, a voice came in through the walkie talkie of one of the agents.  
“There’s no answer. Prepare to enter the house,” it said.  
“Copy that,” the agent answered, and he signaled to the other agent to move towards the house. They started in the direction of the house, and the direction of Ruby and Loki, concealed from their eyes, but not their touch. Ruby watched the agents closing in, one from the left and the other from the right, making it impossible for them to slip away from the side. She shot a look at Loki, who looked equally concerned. Making a split second decision, Ruby forcefully pushed her left hand forward, knocking the left agent off his feet.  
“AH!” he exclaimed.  
The other agent immediately held is gun at the ready, looking around for trouble. When he saw his colleague sitting down on the ground, he lowered his gun with an irritated expression on his face.  
“Hunter, what the hell are you doing?” he asked, walking over to him to help him stand up.  
Meanwhile, Ruby beckoned a surprised looking Loki to follow her to the right, where her car was.  
“Something knocked me over,” the agent named Hunter replied in a British accent.  
“Yeah right.”  
“I swear, Mack!”  
They argued for a little bit, but then became quiet again. Loki and Ruby softly entered the car, and Ruby stuck her keys in the ignition and waited.  
“What are you waiting for?” Loki whispered urgently.  
“For them to enter the house. The chance of them hearing us leave is smaller when they’re searching it.”  
So they waited. Suddenly Ruby sprung up, hearing them break down her doors, and started the car. She kept her ears tuned to signs that they’d been heard, but there were none. Yet. Slowly she drove the car down the muddy road, making sure to keep the engine as quiet as possible. Before they were out of earshot, however, they could hear shouting coming from the house. Immediately Ruby accelerated, cursing all the while. She veered the car around a narrow turn, scarcely preventing them from slipping off the road.  
“Watch out,” Loki shouted despite himself.  
“Thanks for the tip,” Ruby growled sarcastically, racing down the muddy road in the complete dark. A sound could vaguely be heard above the howling wind, a rhythmic pounding. They’d started the chopper. Ruby cursed again, and was this time joined by Loki, who mumbled: “Seven hells.”  
“We can’t outrun the chopper,” Ruby said. “We need to get out of sight.”  
And with that, she steered a hard right, landing the car into a creek and causing Loki to curse again. The car groaned and stopped moving. Loki had scarcely recovered his senses from the blow when he was ushered out of the car by Ruby. 

They were now running into the woods, and Loki couldn’t see a thing. He stumbled along behind Ruby, constantly tripping over roots and branches.  
“Where are we going? Why did you run our transportation into a riverbed?” he shouted at her back when he’d really fallen down.  
“We needed to get out of sight. This will buy us some time while they search the car,” Ruby answered, gripping his shoulder harshly and helping him get up.  
“As to where we’re going,” she continued, grabbing his arm and guiding him through the pitch black forest, “I know a place. We can hide out there ‘till morning. Then we need to find some way to get out of here. You didn’t happen to have a long term plan of escape, did you?” she asked hopefully.  
“I know of a passage to Alfheim, located here on Midgard.”  
“Midgard? See, I knew Loki sounded familiar. You’re a Norse god!” she said, half looking back at him, all the while moving along at a steady pace.  
“The Norse god of Mischief, right? Who’d thought,” she said amused. Behind them a searchlight was turned on, lighting up the road and the crashed car.  
“Crap,” Ruby said, “we need to move,” and she started running, pulling Loki with her.  
“We’ll never make it,” Loki panted.  
“Don’t worry, we’re almost there.”  
“Almost _where_?”  
Ruby didn’t answer, but simply jumped down on what appeared to be another road. Behind them the search light was scanning the forest. Smaller lights had appeared and were also sweeping the forest ground. There was shouting in the distance. Ruby guided Loki through the dark to a house and released his arm.  
“Our car got stuck in the mud on the way back home, got it?” she said. Before he could answer she knocked loudly at the door.

“Adam!” she called, “open up! It’s me, Ruby!”  
There was a cluttering inside, the lights went on, and the door opened. In the doorway stood a sleepy-eyed man in his thirties. His eyes widened when he saw the pair of them all windswept and dirty from walking through the forest.  
“Good heavens, Ruby! What happened to you? How did you get here at this time of night?” he exclaimed.  
“Come now Adam, it’s not that late for us young people,” Ruby answered amicably. “Mind if we come in? The car got stuck in the mud on the way home, you know how it is with this weather.”  
“Of course!” Adam said, stepping aside to make way. “But what were you doing out with this weather?”  
“It was necessary, I’m afraid. Had to pick up my friend here,” Ruby answered, gesturing to Loki.  
“This is Logan, by the way.”  
“Pleased to meet you,” the man said, sticking out his hand, “Adam.”  
Loki shook it, quietly admiring the ease with which his new partner in crime made up lies. He could almost see himself learn a thing or two from her. Almost.  
“Ruby here fixes everything and anything around the house that runs on electricity,” Adam explained, wrongly assuming his new acquaintance would be curious how he knew her.  
“I see,” Loki said.  
“Logan here was my neighbor for many years when we were young,” Ruby said in return, when Loki remained quiet.  
“Ah, I see,” Adam said, raising his eyebrows meaningfully. “And now you’re catching up?”  
Ruby rolled her eyes and smiled and said: “Yes, Adam, old _friends_ catching up. Anyway, I hate to ask this, but… Can we sleep here for the night? I don’t think I can find my house in the dark.”  
“Oh, yes! Of course! I’ll prepare the couch. I hope one of you doesn’t mind sleeping on an air mattress, though?”  
“Oh no, I’m sure Logan doesn’t mind,” Ruby said, giving a devilish smile to Loki.  
“No, I don’t,” Loki said, shooting arrows with his eyes towards Ruby. Her grin only grew wider.  
“Well, then, let me get some pillows and blankets,” Adam said, walking out of the room.  
“Why did you tell him my name is Logan?” Loki whispered as soon as the man was out of earshot.  
“Loki isn’t exactly a common name here. Besides, if SHIELD questions him, he won’t actually give them your name.”  
“But he will give them yours,” Loki countered, but Ruby couldn’t answer because Adam came back with two pillows, two blankets and an air mattress.  
“I hope this will do,” he said, laying the supplies down on the couch that was standing in the small living room. “What is all that noise?” he said, looking out the window. The helicopter had gotten closer, and so had the shouting.  
“I think there was another bear sighting today, close to the village,” Ruby answered nonchalantly. “They’re probably just searching for it.”  
“In the middle of the night?” Adam said, more annoyed than incredulous.  
“Can’t they do it at a more civil time?” he asked, but he didn’t seem to expect an answer, because he promptly wished them good night and left them in the living room.  
“That went pretty well, don’t you think?” Ruby said cheerfully, quickly turning off the lights to avoid detection and making her bed on the couch.  
“Oh, you probably should start inflating the mattress,” she said with another evil grin.  
Loki shot her another angry glare and started to blow air into the mattress. Ruby got comfortable under her blanket on the couch and looked on as Loki inflated the mattress as though she’d never seen a more amusing sight. Luckily, now he was no longer a mere mortal, it didn’t take long. Once he’d gotten comfortable – as far one could get comfortable on an air mattress – Ruby said: “We’ll have to get up at the break of dawn. We’ll leave a note.”  
“Hoping they’ll have stopped searching by then?” Loki asked sceptically.  
“Yeah,” Ruby answered, suddenly not sounding confident anymore, “hoping they’ll have stopped searching by then.”


	3. Road Trip

Before the sun had left the hills surrounding the house owned by the man named Adam, Loki and Ruby were back on the road. They left a note, along with some money meant to compensate for ‘borrowing’ the car for a ride to the village and some supervisions.  
“I hope he won’t mind,” Ruby said nervously as she parked the car at the station.  
“I seriously doubt that,” Loki said dryly. “We stole his vehicle.”  
“We didn’t steal it,” Ruby argued, “we’re leaving it here. I put it in the note.”  
Loki simply rolled his eyes and got out. It was cold outside. Their breath made clouds in the morning air. Ruby shivered and looked over at Loki.  
“Aren’t you cold?” she asked.  
“The cold never bothers me. Shall we go?” he answered impatiently.  
“Okay, Elsa,” she said with a smirk, and she started towards the station, followed by a confused Loki.  
“Well…” she continued, looking thoughtfully at a map hanging on the wall next to the train rail, “we first need to get out of here. Where was this passage of yours located?”  
“We’re not in… America?” Loki asked, instead of answering, looking at the map.  
“…No? We’re in Germany,” she answered somewhat surprised.  
“Wait, we need to go to America? Bro…”  
“Not necessarily. I know of a few passages.”  
“Good. Which one is the closest?”  
“Well…”  
Ruby gave him a look. “Let me guess,” she said, “you haven’t had any Earth topography recently, have you?”  
“You could put it like that, yes. But I’m sure I can locate it once I see a map.”  
Ruby sighed. “Okay. Let’s do this. You can disguise us, right?”  
“Is that necessary?”  
“If those SHIELD agents have any brains, they’ll have someone stationed here,” she answered, gesturing towards the building that sold the tickets.  
“Right. As what, exactly?”  
“Doesn’t really matter. Just anyone else will do. No one recognizable, mind.”  
Loki answered by making a vague gesture, and a golden light covered the both of them, transforming their outer appearance. Ruby examined her new exterior.  
“Sick, dude,” she commented.  
“Have I offended you?” he asked, confused.  
“What? No. It’s just a manner of speech. I meant it was cool… you know, amazing, I guess.”  
She turned around and looked at her reflection in one of the building’s windows. She had raven black hair now, pulled back in a tight ponytail. And her clothes were clean now. Or they appeared to be. The woman staring back at her was older, though. She looked back at Loki. He was a blonde man with a goatee.  
“Well, then. Let’s roll, partner,” she said cheerfully, leading the way.  
“Zwei Karten, bitte,” she said confidently to the woman behind the glass.  
“Wohin, Fräulein?” the woman asked in return. Ruby turned around to Loki and continued in English: “Where are we going to today, Howard? I’m so sorry, I only learned a few sentences in German. You do speak English, don’t you?”  
“Yes, miss. Where to, ma’am?”  
“Could you maybe show us a map, dear? The biggest you have.”  
The lady looked annoyed, but got out a map of Germany and strips of France, Belgium and other neighboring countries. Ruby looked at Loki quizzically.  
“Well, Howard dear?” she asked warmly, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Loki scanned the map. He cleared his throat and tapped his finger on the left side of the map.  
“Let’s go here,” he said in his best American accent (which was pretty good, if he said so himself).  
“Holland? Why, what a splendid idea! How much is that, dear?” Ruby asked the lady.  
“30 euro’s. Each. The bus leaves in an hour.”  
Ruby gulped, but paid up none the less.  
“Thank you! Or should I say ‘Danke’? Auf wiedersehen!”

Ruby didn’t relax until the bus had started driving towards the border. Luckily, she had made sure she’d settled close to the border. She did find it hard to believe a magical portal to some other planet was located in such a sober country, but she had to take ‘Howard’s’ word for it. He was sitting across from her. He looked much less threatening like this. Almost friendly. But there was something in his eyes. Almost like… But she stopped herself before she could finish that thought.  
Outside, the landscape was slowly getting more flat and agricultural, a sure sign they were nearly in the Netherlands. They’d bought the map from the lady behind the counter, but it seemed Loki knew only vaguely where the portal was.  
“Well, then, I hope you know what you’re doing. For both our sakes.”  
Loki didn’t answer, but stared out the window.  
“You ready to eat stroopwafels and frikandellen?” she asked, trying to keep the conversation going. If they were going to be on the run, they should at least be able to talk to each other. Plus, she needed to know who she was dealing with.  
“For what?” he asked reluctantly.  
“Dutch delicacies. They’re pretty good. I mean, stroopwafels are, but a frikandel is as much ‘meat’ as a mcNugget is, you know what I mean?”  
“I can honestly say I do not.”  
“Well, congrats. That officially killed the conversation. I’m gonna take a wee, okay? Be right back.”  
She got up and walked through the bus. She really didn’t like peeing on the bud. Who did? The bathrooms were gross and stinky, and you felt like you could get cholera if you touched anything… But she’d forgotten to pee at the station in their hurry. Besides, thinking she did best on the toilet, for some reason. So she got to it. Besides being an eternal (or semi-eternal) creature that had some kind of ice-powers, Loki wasn’t that abnormal. Sure, he had daddy issues and an ego that ripped a hole in the space time continuum, but other than that… He was just your average megalomaniac. Not really a sociopath, but close. Arrogant, of course. Still thought he could outsmart her. Maybe she should let him. Then again, if SHIELD ever did come close… she could quite literally use him as a human(ish?) shield. So, she’d let him believe she was ignorant. Still, best to be on her guard. He was, after all, the God of lies and mischief. Or so she’d read.  
After about a bazillion stops they finally arrived in Venlo, a southern Dutch city. Ruby stretched out her limbs gingerly. It was 8 o’clock.  
“So how did you expect to find this portal exactly?” she asked Loki in a low voice. He was walking beside her down the road towards the center of the city. He shrugged.  
“I can sense these things,” he said, as though it was obvious.  
“Well, sense faster,” Ruby said irritably, “I think we’re being followed.”  
Loki threw a nonchalant glance over his shoulder. Two men in black were walking behind them in the most non-inconspicuous way possible.  
“Come now, SHIELD isn’t _that_ stupid,” he said with a slight grin.  
“First of all, keep your voice down,” Ruby mumbled angrily.  
“And, second of all, I don’t think we should underestimate the stupidity of humanity or life in general.”  
Loki just chuckled softly in response. Then he stopped dead in his tracks.  
“I found it,” he whispered softly. Ruby turned to him, while stealing a glance towards their supposed followers. They passed her, seeming annoyed at the fact her ‘husband’ was holding up pedestrian traffic. She breathed a sigh of relief.  
“Well then, show the way.”

Somewhere, in a dark stinky alley in the streets of Venlo, as all cities have these alleys, there is a portal to outer space. Apparently. Ruby was amazed. The walls and ground were unimpressive, typical urban features, complete with trashcans and graffiti to decorate them, until Loki had waved is hands in the air like he was trying to grasp something, found it, and had promptly torn a hole in the space-time continuum. Now, the portal was hanging there, in thin air, giving of a splendid lightshow.  
“Ladies first,” Loki said with a grin, and he gestured towards the portal. Ha! As if she was born yesterday.  
“ _After_ the gentlemen,” Ruby answered with emphasis. Loki raised one eyebrow and stepped into the portal. With some hesitation, she followed. A whirling kaleidoscope-like color pattern was around her, and a sense of being displaced filled her body. When her feet finally met the ground again, she fell on her knees and threw up the breakfast she’d bought at one of the bus stops. Once she’d gained control over her senses again, she heard Loki laughing behind her.  
“Oh shut up,” she said shakily, “at least I didn’t get stabbed by a _branch_.”  
She wanted to get up, but she suddenly felt the cold barrel of a gun in her neck.  
“You should’ve taken my offer to go first, darling.”  
“You should’ve learned your lesson by now, _dear_.”  
But, not being used to traveling millions of lightyears in one blink of an eye and probably being more sensitive to it than the average human, there was nothing she could do about the situation at the moment. But ooh… She’d make him pay for this.  
“Get up,” Loki said gloatingly.  
The planet around them was quite barren. Grey sand as far as the eye could see. Big rocks here and there. Loki made her walk for at least an hour. Her condition didn’t improve on it. The atmosphere looked thin, showing loads of stars – but no sun. Finally, they arrived at a cave.  
“Gather some wood. And don’t run away, mind. I’ll find you,” Loki commanded. Ruby obeyed him, all the while cursing under her breath. When she finally sat down in front of the fire, she was positvely exhausted.  
“Well, then. I think it’s time you answer some questions,” Loki said, still pointing the gun at her. It was an odd design, definitely not from Earth. Not that was to be expected anyway. Ruby sighed.  
“What do you want to know?” she asked reluctantly, warming her hands to the fire.  
“First, how did you end up living all alone in the forest?”  
“…It’s kind of a long story.”  
Loki leaned back, keeping the gun pointed at her at all times.  
“I have time,” he said, grinning.  
“Buckle up, then, buddy. It’s backstory time. So, I guess you should know that my father had a thing for alien stuff. Studying it, that is. A while ago, when I was like 3, he found some kind of artefact on one of his excursions, and-”  
“How is this relevant?”  
“Do you wanna hear the story or not? ‘Cause if you’re gonna keep interrupting me you can just shoot me now.”  
“Fine. Continue.”  
“So, the dude found an artifact. Yay. My mom and him studied it for years, trying to figure out how it worked. Sometimes it would activate, sometimes it wouldn’t. One day, when I was 8, I was in the lab with my mom. I was looking at that thing, and… I don’t know what happened exactly, but somehow I thought it was a good idea to touch it. It wasn’t. The moment I touched it, it activated. But not like before, just glowing and stuff, oh no. The thing started beaming, and just burst open. I don’t know what happened, but when it was over, I felt like I wasn’t myself anymore. There was nothing left of my mom.”  
“But what about your father?” Loki asked ruthlessly after a moment of silence.  
“Give me a minute, dude, jeez,” Ruby snapped, wiping her eyes “I’m having a moment, here.”  
“Okay, so my dad, having seen the footage, knew that I basically caused my mother’s death. He wasn’t pleased. Not that he ever said anything. He just, you know, never loved me since. Anyway, my brother also loved science. He thought he could harvest energy from dark matter. Poor Marcus. He got in an accident too, when I was 16. Seems to be the family curse. He didn’t die, though. He should have died.”  
She was quiet for a while, staring into the fire. Then she continued:  
“He, uhm, he lost his mind, you see. Not in the way like Don Quixote did or something, oh no. He became a complete psychopath. Which, you know, wouldn’t have been super bad – there’s psychopaths everywhere. But, he got powers too. He could suck the life out of anyone with one touch. He did that to dad. He could absorb energy from anything. After SHIELD had captured him, I thought everything would be fine. They didn’t cure him. They said they would. But they didn’t. They made him stronger. Crazier, even, if that’s possible. I’ve been hiding ever since.”  
“Why?”  
“Because to brainwash and enhance my brother’s powers is one thing, but to do that to me… The consequences would be… worse.”  
“And why’s that?” Loki asked, leaning forward. Clearly, they’d arrived at his point of interest.  
“Tell me, what happened exactly when you were exposed to this artifact?”  
“Something similar to my brother, when his conscience was blown to pieces. Minus the crazy, that is. I hope.”  
“Ruby…”  
“Fine! Jeez, you really can’t appreciate a build-up, can you? I can manipulate energy. Any kind. Basically, where you need food to survive, I ‘eat’ energy directly, from my surroundings.”  
He looked confused.  
“Oh dear, our God is confused! Well, let me put it in simpler terms: I am more sensitive because I can sense energy all around me. I am stronger because I can use this energy more directly. I heal quicker because I can directly invest this energy to certain parts of my body. I can absorb this energy from all kinds of sources, even small ones like this one.” She gestured to the fire. The realization dawned on Loki. Ruby grinned.  
“Yeah… that fire was a mistake.”  
Loki pulled the trigger before Ruby had finished that sentence. Ruby caught the purple beam with her right hand. The hand glowed a golden color, slowly absorbing the energy.  
“So was that,” she said dryly. Loki tried to get up, but Ruby knocked him out cold with one blow from her right hand.  
“Sweet dreams, princey,” she said in a sugary voice, kicking the gun out of his hand.


End file.
